I know, it isn’t even Thanksgiving yet and I’m already bringing up that New Year resolution thing.
(Hey, you could be grateful that I’m not following the crowd and subjecting you to yet another “gratitude” post in your feed, right?)
How does one sabotage a resolution they haven’t even made yet? By failing to set a goal in advance and then further, by failing to establish a plan for achieving that goal once the ball has dropped!
Most of us get through the holidays with immense feelings of guilt over what went wrong that year and we often harbor feelings of regret, resentment and disappointments. Come January 1st, still high from the lingering buzz of holiday cheer that we all indulge in, we often face the clean slate of a new year and think, “Yes I can start fresh; a new year with a new goal”. We mistakenly believe this is a way to leave our negative baggage in the previous year without carrying it forward into the new one. Making a resolution to change something in your life for the better is a positive and commendable thing to do, yes it is … but not if making the resolution itself is mostly fueled by all that negative stuff lingering on from the previous year.
Self-Sabotage in 3 Easy Steps:
1.) Fail to reflect on any of the negative stuff that happened around you, to you or because of you and your choices in 2014. Those daily gratitude challenges for blogs and Facebook are a great way to fall into this trap. I’ve renamed them “30 Days of Avoiding Self-Reflection By Making Myself Feel Good by Giving Thanks Like Everyone Else”.
2.) Fail to establish goals for the new year right now. Fail to resolve to change anything in your life for the better until December 31st. Just enjoy the holidays with your family and be grateful for all of the blessings in your life.
3.) Avoid any planning for 2015 while it is still 2014. You’re barely going to get through the holidays, right? There’s too much to do!!!!!!
In case you’re wondering, you may chuckle at the snark and take me seriously at the same time. Go ahead, I’ll wait.
This year, I have experienced a dramatic shift in mindset and I truly believe I have ended my cycle of self-sabotage once and for all. I started planning for my 2015 resolution(s) in March. Yes, 9 months early! Our blender baby was about to have his first birthday and I was feeling guilty and sorry for myself because I had already failed to follow through with my 2014 resolution and the pants that I wanted to wear not buttoning made it that much harder to avoid my reality. Last New Year’s Eve I had vowed to lose 20 pounds by the occasion, but instead I had gained a few more and I only had myself to blame. I didn’t make a decision to commit to any sort of plan of action, therefore I did not succeed. Guilt for overindulging in 2013 is what fueled my resolve for losing weight and guilt is not the best motivator, I am learning.
“Plans are nothing; planning is everything.” – Dwight D. Eisenhower
Are you planning for changes for yourself and your family in 2015? What are your goals? Did you need a partner to help coach you in changing your mindset? (If you answered yes to that last one, pick me! I would love to help you make 2015 your best year yet!)